Anya's Algebra Adventure
by a yellow tree
Summary: Anya finds herself newly human after the events of The Wish and has to cope with being a human teenager and all the horrors that come with it, including a horrifying algebra class. This is a rather silly story that I began quite some time ago and thought


A/N: I started this story several years ago and have decided to go ahead and finish it up. It's just a fun little thing for giggles. Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own the characters or anything. I'm a broke college student. I hope that people are amused.

"Clear your desks, everyone. It's time for a pop quiz!" The teacher announced this with such enthusiasm that it made me want to vomit. 'I hate it here. If it wasn't for that damn librarian I wouldn't be stuck in this hideous body. I wouldn't be forced to degrade myself by attending this—this—"

"Anya!"

"W-what? I wasn't sleeping!"

"I told the class to clear their desks. We're having a pop quiz."

"Oh goody!" I exclaimed, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I cleared my pile of notebooks and papers off my desk. They had made for a nice pillow.

"Now, that's the spirit, Anya. You could really stand to be a bit more excited about algebra. I'd hate to see you waste all your potential." And he handed me a test.

'Waste my potential! What do you call sitting here with all these children. Disgusting. Human. Every one of them.' At least I had a plan, but until I could find her I'd have to play along.

I was the first one finished and the teacher was so pleased that he allowed me to leave class early. I never had a problem with math. I've always been good with numbers for some reason. It's an odd quality for a vengeance demon, I suppose, but it comes in handy. I could tell you exactly how many unfaithful males I punished over the last eleven centuries. I could even give you the average mean number for each year and find you the percentage of increase over those years of infidelity by cheating, male scum. You see? Numbers really do help.

As I wandered the halls, I became dizzy and confused. There were simply too many corridors in this building. It was beginning to cause an unpleasant throbbing in my head and the walls seemed to be pulsating. This couldn't be good.

I found a wall that had remained still and leaned up against it. This had never happened in my demon days. Was it a spell? But there wasn't anyone who would curse me. I hadn't any enemies, at least not here, not now, and not living. If this was a spell, I knew I'd have to find her quickly. My plan couldn't wait. Okay, it can wait just a minute. I was too dizzy to do much by this time, so I just slid down to the floor, my back to the one immobile wall.

I suppose that I must have still been there when the bell rang, but I don't remember hearing it. All I remember is a rush of people stampeding by, and then silence. Just when I thought I might get up, the wall behind me jerked outward and I landed on my face. "Ow! Watch it!" I said, much more alert now that my face had hit the tile.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there," a girl said apologetically. "Here, let me help you." She extended her hand and pulled me to my feet.

"Thank you," I said pleasantly, concealing my desire to incinerate her.

"You're welcome," she replied sweetly. The girl had red hair and was carrying a lot of heavy books. I didn't recognize her, but that was probably because she was obviously a bookworm having just stepped out of the library with so many heavy volumes. They looked very old, and I wondered what she could be researching that would cause her to spend her days in a musty, old library. I was just about to ask her, when the door swung open again. Luckily for me, this time I was not in the way.

"Will!" called the dark-haired boy that had just emerged, "What are you—wow! Who's your friend," he gawked.

"Huh?" answered the redhead, apparently named Will. She looked embarrassed.

"She pushed a door into me and was just helping me up," I answered for her.

"I did say I was sorry," replied the "Will", pleadingly.

"Oh, it's quite alright," I assured her. The last thing I needed to do was call attention to myself and make enemies here when I was so close to fulfilling my plan. "Having my face hit the floor really woke me up."

"Will" blinked, for some reason confused. "Okay," came her eventual reply. "I've never seen you here before. Are you new?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, I'm Willow, and this is Xander," she said pointing at the tall boy behind her.

"I'm Xander," he repeated. "What's your name?"

"Anya." I still felt ill and when I went to take a step, I practically fell on top of him.

"Oh goodness. Are you alright?" Willow asked.

"Huh?"

"Xander, why don't you take her down to the nurse?"


End file.
